Consequences of my Faith
by SapphirePools
Summary: Near the end of their journey, Kagome mulls over her new fate that she may not speak of.
1. PROLOGUE: The Assay of my Nights

Title: Consequences of my Faith Rating: PG 13 Author: Catherine Perey Summary: Near the end of their journey, Kagome mulls over her new fate that she may not speak of. "Welcome to the beginning of my end.."- Kagome  
  
Author's comments: I'm not the greatest writer in the world, I know. This is still rough around the edges but I'm going to wait for reviews before I go over it. This is just a bit of a twist upon the story-line, like an unspoken story.  
  
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all materials related to this story are copyrighted to Rumiko Takashi.   
  
PROLOGUE: The Assay of my Nights  
  
=I'm not quite sure when it started.=  
  
"Come on, wench!" Came a snide voice from the hut, Inuyasha was keeping a quick pace towards the thickets in which Kagome stood. The damn girl hadn't stayed in Kaede's hut again. If she ever had youkai blood in her, he was sure to put one of those damned rosaries around iher/i neck.  
  
=All I remember was a lot of pain.=  
  
Just before he broke through the last wall of brush, she managed to tie the last knot and stuff the remaining linen in her pack. She kept her back to him as she pulled out a small black bottle and re-sprayed her arms. Inuyasha drew his red clad arm to block the smell. What the hell was that?  
  
=...and blood. Lots of blood.=  
  
Kagome tried to stifle a cry as she heaved her pack up upon her back. In the corner of her eye she could see one of her sleeves riding up a bit. Quickly, she pulled it down, making it seem as if she were simply scratching her arm. Kagome bit her lip in pain as she passed by the hanyou quickly, not even saying hello or offering a smile. Somehow she knew that it would come back to haunt her.  
  
=Silence has been my only companion.=  
  
Miroku, Sango, and Shippo had joined them along the path; not much was said. Last night there had been a youkai attack in the village, it was strong enough to hold a humanoid form. Inuyasha had dispensed of it easily enough, but it's scent and strength had been masked by Naraku. The youkai had sprung on Kagome, slicing her arms with a wind attack.  
  
=It's been a long time since I have cried.=  
  
Kaede had patched Kagome up to the best of her ability, and it seemed she would be as good as new by the end of the week with the help of her magic. No one worried, not yet. That evening she had sensed a shard, and, despite Inuyasha's complaint to go right away, decided to head out the next morning. Kagome hadn't gotten much sleep last night.  
  
=iThey/i would know, to them, that is my weakness.=  
  
It was going to be at-least a day's trip to a village just outside the mountain where the shard rested. The road was well traveled, the carts and people kept Shippo, perched on Kiara, busy. "Kagome!" Whined he, jumping off to scamper over to Kagome who walked quietly behind the group. "Make Inuyasha stop! I'm hungry and tired!" The kitsune's face was a blubbering mess of tears, tearing her eyes away Kagome took a moment to glance at her companions. Miroku was leaning on his staff a little with a tired smile on his face, Sango seemed worn underneath her angry composure. She had been too tired to pummel the Houshi for his antics.  
  
=I can't afford to be weak anymore.=  
  
Had she been too carelessly locked up in her thoughts to notice? Shippo sniffed slightly, his face suddenly became frightened. "Kagome, I smell blood, someone is bleeding nearby." The poor kid was starting to hyperventilate, he couldn't figure out who it was. Kagome tried to conceal her panic with a little lie. "Don't worry Shippo, I cut my hand a little when I fell earlier." She paused and placed him upon Kiara again. Kagome could no longer hold him. "Inuyasha!"  
  
=I can't stop it. So I must follow.=  
  
The hanyou appeared quickly enough by the four, scowling as usual. "What, bitch?" He asked- no, snarled at the girl. Kagome tried to waive herself off as angry but the fury wouldn't come. She silently sighed and met his eyes. "We should rest for the night, we are all tired." "Feh, weak humans, the mountain is less than two hours walk from here." "We're itired/i, Inuyasha, we are going to set up camp here." Kagome felt like kicking herself in the face. There had been nothing but cold impatience in her voice. Inuyasha paused for a moment to stare at her and sniff the the air a bit before "huffing" and leaving them to settle down and dredge up some food and flame.  
  
=And the pain remains...=  
  
They had a quick meal and lied down for some rest before the inevitable dawn rousing from Inuyasha in the morning. Kagome sat on her sleeping bag thinking. How long before he confronted her? She knew that he was aware of her disappearances in the night, until then, she was only buying time. Heaving herself up, Kagome winced and crept off to a tiny clearing by a stream far from the camp.  
  
=And the blood still flows crimson and metallic.=  
  
She pulled her sleeves up and sucked in a tight breath from the pain. A criss-cross pattern of linen strips covered her arms, spotted with blood here and there. Deftly, Kagome began to untie the knots on her left arm with one hand.  
  
Inuyasha jerked up in his sleep from his dream. "Kuso..." He muttered. He had wanted to stay awake tonight to watch for when Kagome left but even he had been worn down from the day's quick pace and sullen aspects. His thoughts drifted to Kagome's behavior, instantly he pricked up and glanced over to her sleeping bag. Empty, once again.  
  
=How long has it been?=  
  
The trees waved back and forth, groaning under the pressure of a repressed storm. Ironic how life could be these days. The cool water of the stream felt good upon Kagome's barely healing wounds. She needed rest, not even she doubted that. Her eyes softly gazed at the water- at her reflection. Kagome resisted the urge to splash the water away. She was the very image of Kikyo, she couldn't change that. But her eyes changed, from a warm amber, to a cold blue-ish, purple-ish, silver, then to green, hazel, blue; it didn't really follow a pattern. Kikyo didn't have her eyes, Kagome didn't have Kikyo's.   
  
=It began so long ago, I don't remember the date=  
  
Kagome leaned back on her heels, trying to savor a sliver of peace. No battles, no noise, no pain... just eerie silence. Lately she hadn't had any time to relax, or sleep. Every night she would tend to her wounds then spray them again to mask the smell, no one was to know. Kagome shook her head remembering that day, it had been so long ago. 'I better get back before they notice, it's almost dawn.' She stood slowly, making her way back to camp. Tomorrow would would be another battle.  
  
=But I remember that fateful day. The day when my life ended and immortality began...=  
  
=-----=----=----=-----=----=----=----==---==---====----=--=-=-===-==----==  
  
That's it for now. Review please! 


	2. CHAPTER ONE: Hiding behind the Mask

Title: Consequences of my Faith

Rating: PG-13

Author: Catherine Perey

Summary: Near the end of their journey, Kagome mulls over her new fate that she may not speak of.

Author's comments: OMG! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner, school's been hectic. Catherine 98, you rock.

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all materials related to this story are copyrighted to Rumiko Takashi.

CHAPTER ONE: Hiding behind the Mask

Kagome had only just stood and turned from the stream when Inuyasha looming a few meters away startled her.

"Oh! Inuyasha! What are you doing here?" She inquired nonchalantly. Her first mistake had been to let her face expose the fear of capture that had gripped her heart when she saw him. The second, Kagome thought ruefully, was underestimating him.

He mustn't know the truth

Inuyasha scowled while he watched her carefully for something to give her away but to no avail. Snorting, "We're leaving soon, go wake the girl and the lecher." he snapped. Kagome frowned momentarily before striding past him with a quick 'sit'.

He mustn't know anything

Why couldn't he leave her alone?, Kagome thought angrily as she made her way back to camp. It wasn't as if he cared.. much, at least. She wasn't blind. Kagome knew about all those little moments when the caring Inuyasha bore through his arrogant mask. And even if he went to see Kikyo, he didn't love the shell, but cared for the one waiting for him to return back at camp. No matter how hard it was for her to see him go.

This world we have created for ourselves...

Just as he knew she cared for him, leaving them in a painful tangle of heartstrings. But many months ago they spoke, and they decided what was best, to leave anything but duty behind closed doors and in the past. Affection, words, presents, over-protection, it all had to be hidden for everyone's sake. So they remained with their destiny, Kagome's somewhat more painful.

...Is much too fragile for me to add another crack...

Coming to a halt just before the lip of the clearing, Kagome paused. Because of their closet emotions, Kagome refused to let anyone know or worry for her. This was her burden, whether it drove her to death or not. Willing herself forward, Kagome took the last few steps. Sango looked up expectantly while Miroku stirred the fire. "Where did you disappear to? I was hoping we could take a bath before we left here, the hot spring is really nice." Sango inquired honestly. "You mean me to include me too? Oh Lady Sango, I would be honored!" Miroku said lavishly, bringing a hand to his heart just before Sango knocked him to the ground. "Take a bath with Inuyasha, pervert." She said icily.

...And cause it to come crumbling down around him

Just when the words left her mouth Inuyasha jumped down with the regular scowl on his face. Sango frowned to herself, what had happened between Inuyasha and Kagome this morning? Inuyasha looked pissed about something and it was probably going to ruin their whole day. "Let's go! The shard's not far!" He growled and strode quickly across to the main road. Kagome had followed almost immediately, only stopping to grab her bag and Shippo, who was sleeping peacefully on an old coat of hers. She had felt so treacherous the first time she put sleeping pills in the chocolate to drug the kitsune into a long and deep sleep, but the overwhelming relief of being able to leave quickly without him waking up and crying over powered it.

We are all he has left..

Nestling Shippo into his usual spot upon Kiara's back, Kagome let herself fall to the back of the pack but not out of Inuyasha's irritated sight. He wasn't angry, at her at least, he was worried. A slight twitch of concern had faded onto his face, carefully concealed by anger. But she knew better. Fingering the small fringes of the bandages that were exposed from under her shirt, Kagome pondered. If Inuyasha knew she was leaving every night, what did the others know? Shippo had smelt blood the day before, and if Sango dragged her off to bath, surely she would see her arms.

...I can't let him hurt because of me

But what worried her the most were Miroku's groping hands. If he went to feel her backside up, he might hit the deep scratches on her left thigh or the two very large gashes on her lower back. And if he did, Inuyasha would demand a reason for her pain. That couldn't happen. Kagome was so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice Inuyasha had stopped until she ran straight into him, falling to a painful heap at his feet. Getting up slowly as she bit back a nasty word, Kagome met his gaze. "Are we stopping?" She asked quietly.

That day, so long ago there was much pain...

"No, wench" He grabbed her wrist gently enough for her to hide her pain, "You are going to tell me what is going on." He looked peeved. "Right now?" Kagome's voice was only a whisper. "Yes right now, you're not going to go fucking sneaking around behind my back anymore." He said equally as quiet. Kagome narrowed her eyes, he couldn't find out, "I should say the same thing about you and Kikyo." Inuyasha seemed appalled for a moment before he gently threw her to the ground in disgust. "Shut up bitch." Kagome bit back the retort that boiled up her throat, the one they all expected. Standing, she let herself fall to the back once more, ignoring the odd looks the other's gave her.

...everyone had been injured greatly..

"Kagome?" Sango asked tentatively, slowing her pace to match the miko's. "Hmm?" Sango furrowed her brow in concentration, "What.. is going on, between you and Inuyasha.. I mean... " Kagome tilted her head to the side, looking out over the countryside, " Nothing Sango, he's just pissy today, can't help that." Sango didn't seem happy with that answer but still returned to the main group but kept a modest space between her and the monk.

...Inuyasha the most as he had tried to protect me...

She still remembered the battle, blurs of blood and anger. The sheen of the hard metal blades. So many months ago...

...but they had succeeded...

"If we walk till sunset, we will reach a village Inuyasha." Miroku's voice offered. Inuyasha snorted, "Fine, but no breaks until nightfall." They would walk endlessly, till darkness; but neither the dark nor the walking would save Kagome from the one thing she couldn't defend herself from, her mind.

...they stole everything from me...

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You know you want to review... the buttons cold, can you warm it up? (that sounded really wrong)


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